First off, this is nothing against my parent friends! I love what you guys are able to experience and I love hearing you tell funny and cute stories about your life with kids; however, there are some things us non- parents especially us pet parents are tired of hearing.
- When you have kids, you will never get any privacy anymore! I totally understand that human babies come with lots of sacrifice and worn out nights. You also don’t have to keep telling me that when you take a shower or use the restroom your children bang on the door or you hear them down the hall screaming your name getting closer and closer. Us pet parents, believe it or not, experience that too. Heaven forbid, I don’t shut the door all the way because my lab will literally knock the door down just to make sure I am safe and sound and don’t need any assistance. Even my little chihuahua has figured out how to push the door open with her paws and come lay on the rug for moral support, I guess. And when I do remember not to leave the door cracked, my lab runs into the door constantly and my chihuahua whines… so even I don’t get privacy in that department.
- You don’t know what it’s like not having any time for yourself. Like what I explained above, I understand it is not quite the same but not all of us non parents live alone. Even when I wasn’t married, I had 3 roommates and people were in and out. We all shared a living room and kitchen. We sometimes watched movies together, but majority of the time, it was thinking you had a break and started watching a movie only to have people come in for a late night snack and small talk in the kitchen. Maybe when you were childless, you could travel and go out all the time, but that isn’t necessarily the case for everyone. Most of us live with others causing not much alone time and for those of us who live with 1 other person or live alone… sometimes being alone isn’t as tropical as you make it sound.
- Pets are nowhere near like having kids. I am not saying dogs are similar to children, but… they can be very similar at times! I love my dogs more than some parents love their kids. I will risk my life in order to save my pets. They are my babies. I feed them, bathe them, have to watch their every move outside because they can escape from the backyard. Some pet parents even buy them clothes and travel with them. We are going to start camping with ours. Our activities surround our babies as do yours. Our dogs whine, they get sick, they need monthly shots and medication. The difference is, ours can’t tell us what is wrong. They can’t hold what is hurting them. They are more prone to certain illnesses and parasites. We can’t communicate to each other. Our love is purely based on actions and that is what I adore.
- You’ll never be able to travel anywhere with kids. I can kind of understand where the finances part of traveling can be tough, but… have you ever traveled with a pet? It is extremely difficult sometimes. They can’t tell you when their bladder is about to bust. They normally don’t eat or drink in the car causing me to be stressed out because I have no idea if they are thirsty or hungry. You have to eat in front of them knowing they don’t eat their food which is torture for me. Just about NO hotels welcome in pets. It is hard to have someone keep your dog for a week or longer. Boarding is EXPENSIVE! And you can’t just have any boarder. You want your pet to be out of the cage sometimes so they don’t get bored or lonely. You want to make sure a vet is available just in case. You want to make sure the other dogs don’t bully yours because you won’t stand for that. You also can’t call and talk to them while you are away. Another thing is, our pets have no idea what we are doing or why we are leaving them or if we are coming back, and that saddens me. At least you can take your children places, we have to leave them behind majority of the time.
- You better get used to (blank), because you will have to when you have kids. This is almost always said to me because I have a vomit problem. I just cannot do it. I can handle spit up, but when my dogs decide that the carpet or kitchen floor is a good place to empty their stomachs, I will normally join them because of how sick it makes me. Having a child will not change my perspective, if nothing else, it will probably make it worse. When I say I am tired, “getting used to late night with kids” isn’t something I would like to hear all the time. Us pet parents have late nights too, yes I, sometimes, choose to stay up late, but if my dogs need to go outside… their barking does not stop until I get up and let them out only to have them just sit and stare out in the darkness and not do anything. At least when your kids get older, they may learn to go to the toilet. Nope. Not mine… I can’t teach a dog that.
- My life without kids was meaningless. Ouch. Thanks. I thought my life had meaning. Guess not.
- When are you going to have kids? Safe answer… 5 or so years. That is my answer. So ask again if I haven’t had one then. Not every married couple’s goal is to have children right after the wedding. Trust me, when we are ready to have kids, you will know.
- Enjoy sleeping peacefully. I can’t tell you when the last time that happened. With a husband and 2 dogs in a queen size bed… HA. Funny how peaceful that can be with my dogs’ paws clawing into my back pushing me away.
- You just don’t know what love is until you have kids. As a Christian, a spouse comes before your children. Hard to wrap your mind around that if that is not your beliefs but for me, my husband and I’s love is very strong. I devoted my life to him. Yes you love your kids because they are apart of you. I choose to love my husband and live with him for the rest of my life. He is there before kids and he will be there after kids. That is a choice. And choosing to love comes a little harder than a natural love like you have with your kids. I know love, do NOT tell me otherwise.
- You aren’t tired, wait until you have kids. I wanted to make a separate one for this comment even though it is similar to number 5. Being tired has nothing to do with having kids. My husband works 90 hours a week, he has the right to be tired. I have mental illnesses that prevent me from sleeping causing me to stay up passed a day or so, I think I have the right to be tired as well. People without kids tend to do more (based on the complaints parents make about not being able to do anything with kids). Especially us career focused people. Ones like me who are career driven first and is going to school and staying up in wee hours studying or those who chose (or have no choice) to work longer hours are tired too. Yes kids are exhausting but they aren’t in the definition of being tired.
Well, that is all I can think of off the top of my head. If you have anymore or would like to comment, feel free! firstname.lastname@example.org
Curious to know what you guys think. Also, if you have something that bothers you or a topic that can be touchy like this one then send me an email and I will see if I can address it!
Until next time, Kels